Active Time-Out

Active means engaged in doing something.

Active time-out in discipline means engaging yourself when your child's behavior is inappropriate. For example, when your tot breaks the house rule, you remove him from the environment and to a quiet, pre-determined location for a briefly period of time. The time alone allows him to reflect on the inappropriate behavior and to calm down.

When my daughters were young, I'd use the corner of the bed or a corner of our living room as time-out locations. I'd send them to the location for a brief period of time. It didn't have to be long, just enough to interrupt their unruly behavior. If we were in public, I'd remove them to sit in the quiet car. Afterward, we'd rejoin others or continue with our shopping. Some parents use a chair for time-out.

Not every technique works on every kid. But, before giving up on time-out, make sure you're using it correctly. Here are some success tips:

*Be consistent - use time-out for both major and minor infractions.
*Be calm when implementing time-out (no shouting).
*Be observant; once the child is calm and cooperative, time-out is over.
*Be smart by removing distractions - time-out is to be boring.

Sometimes people don't like this phrase, they think it sounds harsh. Then, use another word ... call it "think time" if you like. The point is; when adults break society's rule, they are put in time-out and it is not pleasant. Kids must learn now to keep the rules and if not, they'll be removed from polite society.
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Summertime Discipline Tips

We're getting into summer fun and vacation time. I see all kinds of weird and wild behavior from kids . . . and their parents.

Some weirdness is due to excitement. "It also means changes in routine, strange hours, confined spaces and unfamiliar faces which can add up to discipline issues for your kids," says Marijo Tinlin. "They’re tired, in a strange place, strapped in to the seat of a car or airplane and they just may act out because of that."

Last summer, Marijo asked me to share some tips for parents in an article she was writing. She included my tips in her Top Discipline Tips for Summer Vacation. My advice? Here's one tip:

For annoying - not destructive - behaviors sometimes “passive timeout” works great. This technique means you simply ignore the goofy behavior; turn away and remove your child’s "audience." When her behavior improves, you turn back and reward her with a smile.

Your child craves your attention. When you remove attention, you send a message that undesirable behavior will not be rewarded. You extinguish the behavior by ignoring it.

Remember wise parents know what to overlook rather than oversee.

To get my discipline tips while at restaurants and relatives' homes, read Marijo Tinlin's article.

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Time Out Not Working?

The naughty corner, a phrase coined by the TV reality show Supernanny, is what most of us call time-out. It's a private, specific location where a child briefly stays to think about his misbehavior while calming down.

When used consistently, time-out can extinguish inappropriate or misbehavior. A concern I have is, that a child understands it's his behavior that's naughty, not him as a person. Say, "You need to sit in time-out for your behavior," rather than, "You need to sit in time-out because you are naughty."

Time-out can begin as early as 2 years old - when the child begins to understand the concept of "wait." You can utilize the "time out" discipline technique for children as mature as 10 years.

If you've tried time-out only to find it unsuccessful, try again and remember to:

* Keep the location free of distraction or entertainment
* Maintain a calm and firm attitude
* Eliminate other stimulation like TV, radio, or bright lights
* Release your child when you see self-calming skills
* Forgive and move on, no lecture or reprimands afterward

What do you think? Leave your comment or questions.
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