The Development of a Conscience

When a child experiences the results - or consequences - of his behavior, he develops an inner voice. What does that voice say? It tells him that what is "right" brings satisfaction (or pleasure) and what is "wrong" brings dissatisfaction (or pain). The inner voice becomes a moral compass.

Why do some high profile celebs or politicians misbehave? I believe it's because they know they can get away with it. Someone else cleans up their mess, covers up their lies, replaces the money they took or things they've broken. Unfortunately, they've never experienced the consequences of their personal behavior. And the consequence is . . . they have no conscience.

We want educators, politicians, and others held accountable for any inappropriate behavior, right? Then we, as parents, must teach our children about accountability by allowing them to face the results of their behavior - to "own up to" their behavior.

Today, I encourage you to be effective in parenting by providing consistent boundaries and clear consequences for your children's behavior. Then. . . allow consequences to happen.

What do you think? Leave your comment now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't cheat yourself; join me and others for an hour of empowerment every Tuesday morning, 10-11 am (EST), on The Parent's Plate Internet radio show. If you miss a live broadcast, listen to any episode, at your convenience, on podcast or iTunes.

Notice the Negative but avoid Negative Thinking

"He stomps on the floor."
"She resists doing one simple chore!"
"He cries when he can’t have a toy."
"She's moody."

You’re not responsible for every random thought that pops in your head, only ones you entertain. To think, “That child is rude” may enter your mind and probably do little harm. Maybe she is being rude or selfish. You might have made an accurate observation of childhood behavior. But adding more to your observation, “And she’s such a BRAT,” or “I CAN'T that kid!” starts a cycle of negative thinking that impairs your skillful response.

To notice the floor is filthy may be a factual observation. To add, “Why is everyone here so lazy?” begins a negative thinking cycle interfering with your relationships and performance. Sweeping the floor clean is to take corrective action.

Likewise, noticing a child’s behavior is a certain way, is not negative thinking. But do you stew on that assessment? Do you label the child based on behavior? Do you harbor an attitude against her? Or do you stop your thought there and positively confront and correct the inappropriate behavior?

As a childcare professional or parent, it’s critical to know the distinction between a negative thought and negative thinking. You control your thinking. Don't let it control you and how you discipline.

The Birth to Five Book: Confident Childrearing Right from the Start is available online http://is.gd/jaTZ or get signed copies by mailing me $12 per book (U.S. orders only) at: P.O. Box 1302 | Mount Vernon, OH 43050.
Finally, for fun facts follow me on twitter .

©Copyright 2011, Brenda Nixon.

Get Better Behavior from Your Words

Early in my parenting career, I thought I was being a great, positive mom when I smiled and said to my daughter, "Good girl" at her appropriate behavior. Later I smartened up - learning that my vague comment did little good - what's "good" about a good girl? I learned that naming her cooperative behavior was more helpful and taught her which behavior was pleasing. For example, "I like the way you picked up toys" was more specific than "good girl."

"I like the way you work quietly" helped my daughter repeat her quiet behavior more than if I'd said, "good girl." Using words to describe her appropriate behavior made a healthier, positive mom/daughter relationship. Plus our home was more positive because she knew what appropriate behaviors to repeat.

In your daily discipline, remember to use specific words to encourage a child's appropriate behavior. For example, it's more helpful to say, "I like the way you pick up toys," or "Thanks for sitting down," rather than, "Good girl!" The latter is vague and doesn't give the child helpful feedback. Kids need to hear what they do right so they can repeat it.

In your daily discipline, acknowledge your child with comments that are specific and help your child learn what's appropriate behavior, then you'll see better behavior.

©Copyright, 2011 Brenda Nixon. Need a long-lasting Baby Shower gift? Give The Birth to Five Book, available on Amazon http://is.gd/jaTZ.

Do You Really Love Your Child?

"Of course I love my kid!” most parents insist.

However, I frequently see and work with parents who are ambivalent - wishy washy - about setting rules and boundaries for their children. Why? One reason is they fret that their “kids will hate them." Instead of hating their parents, children actually respect and admire those who take the time to love them through rules, boundaries, and limitations.

I've often said, anyone can discipline your child without love but, you cannot really love your child without disciplining him/her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your hour of empowerment is The Parent's Plate radio show every Tuesday, 10 am (EST). All past shows are available on podcast and iTunes so you don't have to miss any of the information and affirmation.