Happy New Year

It's almost here! Thanks for reading my blog. You’re welcome to share it via Twitter, Facebook, or forward to someone who may benefit from it too. This year, I hope you'll encourage soon-to-be or new parents with a gift copy of The Birth to Five Book, available online at http://bit.ly/6KMItC or get signed copies from me. To receive a signed copy mail $12 (incl S&H) to me at: P.O. Box 1302 | Mount Vernon, OH 43050. Hurry, this offer ends at the end of January.

Now, what's your New Year discipline resolution?

Not screaming.

More patience.

Set boundaries . . . and keep 'em!

Teach self-controlled behaviors.

Get my kid toilet trained.

Make 'em listen to me.

Show that I love them even if they think I'm mean.

Move my teen out of the house.

Does one of the above fit your discipline goal for the new year or do you have your own?

When I was a new mom, one of my parenting goals was to practice discipline with an instructive attitude. I didn't adopt the attitude that my kids were in a me-against-you war. Rather I tried to maintain the attitude that they needed my help to know right from wrong, how to gain satisfaction in appropriate ways, and how to succeed in life through appropriate talk and behavior.

Have you thought about your goal in discipline? I'd love to hear it. Leave your comment below and tell me what you'll strive for in the coming year.

©Copyright, 2011, Brenda Nixon. The Birth to Five Book available Amazon.com. Follow my work and life in 140 characters on Twitter.

Get Better Behavior from Your Words

Early in my parenting career, I thought I was being a great, positive mom when I smiled and said to my daughter, "Good girl" at her appropriate behavior. Later I smartened up - learning that my vague comment did little good - what's "good" about a good girl? I learned that naming her cooperative behavior was more helpful and taught her which behavior was pleasing. For example, "I like the way you picked up toys" was more specific than "good girl."

"I like the way you work quietly" helped my daughter repeat her quiet behavior more than if I'd said, "good girl." Using words to describe her appropriate behavior made a healthier, positive mom/daughter relationship. Plus our home was more positive because she knew what appropriate behaviors to repeat.

In your daily discipline, remember to use specific words to encourage a child's appropriate behavior. For example, it's more helpful to say, "I like the way you pick up toys," or "Thanks for sitting down," rather than, "Good girl!" The latter is vague and doesn't give the child helpful feedback. Kids need to hear what they do right so they can repeat it.

In your daily discipline, acknowledge your child with comments that are specific and help your child learn what's appropriate behavior, then you'll see better behavior.

©Copyright, 2011 Brenda Nixon. Need a long-lasting Baby Shower gift? Give The Birth to Five Book, available on Amazon http://is.gd/jaTZ.

Your Strong-Willed Child

If I had a dollar for every time I've heard parents, teachers, or grandparents use the expression "strong-willed child," I'd be wealthy!

I recently became acquainted with Dr. Liane Leedom, psychiatrist and author of Just Like His Father. She also offers a website where she writes, "The so-called strong-willed child actually has poor will power, NOT good will power! Will power helps children behave in a good way and resist temptation. Will power developed over the course of childhood protects against ADHD, addiction and antisocial personality disorder."

Dr. Leedom says that kids perceived as "strong-willed" actually have an imbalance between their drive for social dominance and impulse control. "The drive for social dominance makes them resistant to correction because they always want to be ‘in charge’ and their weak impulse control is what makes them appear to have strong wills. Hmmm, something to consider.
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