Friday, March 1, 2013

3 Big Mistakes Parents Make

Now if you read my blog much you know I'm positive and look for things parents do right. But sometimes I gotta say, there are some pretty powerful mistakes parents make. I don't think they intend to sabotage their parent/child relationship but any one of these three will...

1. Being the companion parent. This means you are your child's playmate, court jester, entertainer
all the time. What happens? Your child expects you to keep him/her busy and happy. The problem is, you need time away from your child to address other responsibilities, while your child learns self-entertainment. By always being the go-to person for your child, he/she becomes handicapped in using his/her own pretend skills or imagination. And you come to resent your child's over-dependence. Not good for the relationship.

2. Saying, "OK?" after giving your child an instruction. I know you think you're being polite or perhaps softening the statement but, your child hears a choice. And when given a choice, most children answer, "No." Sometimes an argument ensues; not good for the relationship. Be aware if you hear yourself about to say, "OK?" and stop. If you aren't offering a choice, don't make it sound like one. Just say it. Period.

3. Living vicariously through your child. Sadly, I've witnessed the parent who butts-in, coerces, manipulates, brags, pushes, or over indulges in being "there" for the child. Picture the "stage mom." I saw this a few weeks ago when a mom and daughter were discussing the latter's wedding. After Mom suggesting colors, dresses, flowers, shoes, and on and on, the daughter finally reminded, "Mom, this is my wedding. I have my own ideas." Mom living through her bride daughter is not good for the relationship. Better be like a consultant. Know what a consultant is? You're there when needed, and not when you're not!

Well, those are my big three. Do you know of or see other mistakes parents make? Leave your comment or story below. Your observation may help others build a healthier, happier parent/child relationship; I believe that's what all parents want.

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