Scream, Shout and Yell, Oh My!

“Brenda, my kids never listens unless I yell at them.”

I frequently hear this comment in my work as a childrearing expert, speaker, and media guest. Parents want help and encouragement in their enormous task, and effective discipline is always at the top of their list.

Many parents say they can’t get their kids to mind until there's screaming. After I listen to a parent, I sometimes ask, “Why do you think you don't get a response until then?”

“Because that’s when they know I really mean it!”

How to be a Successful Parent ~

Imagine if you could hear kids' thoughts. What if your child was thinking, "I'm confused and insecure when you are unpredictable."

In discipline, children become confused when they hear a rule that is then unenforced or if Mom says one thing but Dad says the opposite. Kids get confused when one day something they do brings laughter but the next day they are scolded for it.

Kids need adults who say what they mean and mean what they say. They need loving, responsible adults who respond to them consistently, using the same words, the same expectations, and the same consequences! In my experience the happy, secure, better behaved kids are the ones who have parents and environments that are predictable.

Synonyms for dependable include: always there, constant, faithful, loyal, responsible, secure, stable, steadfast, steady, trustworthy, unfailing. Do these words apply to your daily discipline?

Remember, you can get a signed copy of my award-winning The Birth to Five Book by sending $12 to me at PO Box 1302, Mount Vernon, OH 43050 (USD and USA shipments only). Check out the picture and description of what you get in The Birth to Five Book at The Parent's Plate radio show.

Effective Discipline

Want to be effective in your discipline? Need help getting your point across? Want to regain control? From my friends at the Child Welfare League of America, here's a list of the what's needed for effective discipline. Many of these I have addressed in my weekly Discipline Tip you receive. I challenge you to print out this list and put it on your bathroom or bedroom mirror, in the kitchen and in the car. Effective discipline requires:

1. Patience;
   
2. Determination;
   
3. Confidence;
   
4. Genuineness and concern;
   
5. Openness;
   
6. Separateness;
   
7. Friendly firmness;
   
8. An understanding of development & the factors that affect development;
   
9. Thorough communication; and
   
10. An understanding of the goal of discipline.
    

In daily discipline -- consider these skills and qualities. Do you have what it takes to be an effective disciplinarian?