How to be a Successful Parent ~

Imagine if you could hear kids' thoughts. What if your child was thinking, "I'm confused and insecure when you are unpredictable."

In discipline, children become confused when they hear a rule that is then unenforced or if Mom says one thing but Dad says the opposite. Kids get confused when one day something they do brings laughter but the next day they are scolded for it.

Kids need adults who say what they mean and mean what they say. They need loving, responsible adults who respond to them consistently, using the same words, the same expectations, and the same consequences! In my experience the happy, secure, better behaved kids are the ones who have parents and environments that are predictable.

Synonyms for dependable include: always there, constant, faithful, loyal, responsible, secure, stable, steadfast, steady, trustworthy, unfailing. Do these words apply to your daily discipline?

Remember, you can get a signed copy of my award-winning The Birth to Five Book by sending $12 to me at PO Box 1302, Mount Vernon, OH 43050 (USD and USA shipments only). Check out the picture and description of what you get in The Birth to Five Book at The Parent's Plate radio show.

in Control or Under Control?

To be successful in life, all children must learn appropriate ways to:

meet their needs,
relate to others,
express themselves,
restrain impulses,
channel emotions,
respond to frustration, and
make right and healthy choices.

Good discipline teaches a child to act appropriately - not because he/she is told to, but because he/she wants to. How do you motivate a child to self-control? One way is by allowing consequences to happen.

In The Birth to Five Book, I share a story about my Laura who was not being self-controlled about getting ready for school. One morning I told her that she must be dressed when her bus arrives or she'll have to dress on the bus. When the bus pulled up and tooted its horn, Laura was . . . almost dressed . . . she only needed her shoes and socks. I put those items in a bag and handed it to her so she could finish dressing on the bus. Did it make her uncomfortable? Um, yes. Did I feel like a mean mom? Right again. But it taught Laura that I meant what I said and to take responsibility for dressing every morning. Never again did Laura dawdle around in the morning. And I never again had to nag her, "get dressed" or "hurry up."

When children experience the consequence of their behavior, it makes an deep impact. It causes them to be accountable – “own” - their behavior. If the consequence is positive, they’re motivated to repeat the good behavior. If the consequence is negative (Laura dressing on the bus), they’ll likely choose different behavior next time. Children learn to be responsible and self-regulated when they are allowed to experience the consequence of their behavior.

Today - and everyday - your discipline goal is to:

teach your child to self-control.

You can do that by allowing consequences to happen. Eventually, you can rest assured that your child will act in appropriate ways even when he/she isn't under your control.

How to be a Successful Parent

Imagine hearing this thought of a child, "I'm confused when you're unpredictable."

In discipline, children become confused when they hear a rule that is unenforced or if Mom says one thing and Dad says the opposite. They get mixed messages if something they do brings laughter one day and scolding the next day.

Kids need adults who say what they mean and mean what they say. They need loving adults who respond to them consistently, using the same words, the same expectations, and the same consequences.

Synonyms for dependable include always there, constant, faithful, loyal, responsible, secure, stable, steadfast, steady, trustworthy, unfailing. How do these words apply to your daily discipline?

Successful Parenting

One of my favorite parenting writers/speakers is Dr. Sal Severe. He’s doled out advice on Oprah (before Dr. Phil) and other noted media outlets.

Prior to my book's release, Sal published his book I still love and recommend How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too! (Viking, $23.95). The title alone is something many educators would like to teach parents today.

One of the jewels in the book is a chapter on how successful parents behave. Listed are three promises every parent needs to make to become more successful:

1) Promise to have courage to be open and accept new ideas. If what you’re doing is working, says the author, stick with it. If not, have the courage to try something new.


2) Promise to have patience – plenty of patience. Your twelve-year-old kid has had twelve years to develop his behavior patterns. Give him time to change.


3) Promise to practice. The author says, “If you are willing to read about new ideas but not to practice them, give this book to someone else and buy a magic wand.”



Good parenting skills take time and practice. Thanks for stopping by my blog, you’ve shown me you’re open and accept new ideas. Patience and practice are your daily discipline assignments this week.

Don't Ya Just Love 'Em?

I've been a preschool teacher and I'm a mom so I know there are days when it is a challenge to like what you do and the kids you're with! I've also learned that it's my attitude that can make or break my interaction with these impressionable ones. What do you like about living/working with kids? Rate the following aspects from 1 (your fave) to 10 (least liked). Cross out any that don’t apply to your situation.

_____ reminding them of their chores

_____ listening to their stories

_____ solving their problems

_____ seeing new skills or abilities

_____ holiday happenings

_____ picking up after them

_____ meeting their friends

_____ correcting misbehavior

_____ presents they give you

_____ school plays

_____ funny antedotes they provide

Discipline yourself to think on the terrific times you have with kids. It may put a positive spin on your attitude and actions, and get you happily through this day.

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Your hour of empowerment is The Parent's Plate radio show every Tuesday 10 am (EST). All past shows are available on podcast and iTunes so you don't have to miss any information and affirmation.