Cabin Fever?

This time of year when gray skies and cold temps keep most kids indoors, cabin fever sets in. The fever causes misbehavior because kids are antsy, bored, whiny and easily upset. You might see more sibling rivalry or tattling. If you're feeling the walls closing in on your family and misbehavior mounting, try this therapeutic activity: Enjoy an indoor picnic.

Picnics elicit fond outdoor memories. Talk to your kids about picnics they remember. Who was there? Where was the picnic? What'd they eat? Share your childhood memories of picnics, too!

Hold your picnic today, at an indoor "beach" and wear summer clothes. Use a basket and beach blanket. Sit on the blanket in your living- or family room; munch on picnic-type foods. Talk about birds and nature. Read books or sing songs together; if you have a young tot, sing the Teddy-bear picnic song.

Spending uninterrupted time with kids can help ease their stress and you'll see better behavior. Plus you'll fortify physical skills like eye-hand coordination; cognitive skills through problem solving; language skills by talking, and social/emotional skills through the art of pretend -- this is good discipline.

Remember "bad" behavior can be avoided or improved through productive play.

The Birth to Five Book: Confident Childrearing Right from the Start is available online http://is.gd/jaTZ or buy signed copies from me by mailing $12 per book (U.S. only) to: P.O. Box 1302 | Mount Vernon, OH 43050. Finally, for fun, fast facts follow me on twitter .

(C)Copyright 2011, Brenda Nixon.

Random Discipline Thoughts

My office receives many emails & phone calls about discipline - it's a hot, continuous issue with parents! Over the years I've answered so many questions that I've a 1-hr CD called "Creative Discipline" available.

Here, I want to share random thoughts on discipline. So whether you're reading this as a grandparent, a childcare provider, social worker, or a parent, let one of these thoughts inspire you this week:

Kids gone wild? How do you teach a child to be self-controlled? My answer, be in charge of yourself and model how to behave. When kids see you control your emotions during frustrating times, they learn that skill too.

Want to raise responsible kids? Model personal responsibility. Let your children hear you say, "That's my job," or "That's what I must do." Without responsibility, kids gradually lose self-respect. When my daughters were young, the older one used to tattle, "Mom, Laura is _________ (fill in the blank)." I'd gently remind her, "It's my job to parent Laura, I'll take care of it my way." Kids need a parent who is their ally. Even when they are acting the most unlovable, try to understand them and show you love them in spite of their difficult behavior.

How do you be a hero to kids? Model integrity. Also read lots of good ole fashioned fairy tales. Why? Fairy tales provided examples of heroes and values.

You Change First

Parents (and teachers) often tell me that whatever they do, their kids won't behave. After a bit of dialog I usually hear, "Well, I always . . . . "

If you "always" respond a certain way to misbehavior and your children's behavior doesn't change, you need to try a different response. Funny, when adults change first, the child changes. If your children yell and you always yell back, the cycle continues. But if you whisper you'll probably see a startle reaction and then hear their lowered voice in return. If you always nag when they dawdle, try calmly setting a consequence and give yourself emotional distance. If they continue to dawdle, allow the consequence to happen (no rescuing) and you'll see a change in behavior.

Disciplining children sometimes calls for a new strategy to change habitual behavioral problems. In your daily discipline, remember:

Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.

And remember this, my book The Birth to Five Book: Confident Childrearing Right from the Start is available online http://is.gd/jaTZ or you can order signed copies from me for $12/book (includes free S&H & just for U.S. orders). Simply send your order/payment to me at: P.O. Box 1302, Mount Vernon, OH 43050. As soon as I receive your order, I'll sign/send your book!

Finally, follow me on Twitter http://www.twitter.com/BrendaNixon.

Negative Attention is Better than None!

A child craves adult attention, approval, and guidance. It's painful to be ignored -- experience indifference.

When parents respond to kids only when they misbehave, a powerful message is sent: the way to get my attention is by acting out. Whoa, then kids act ugly for attention! Even yelling and punishment is, to a child, better than being ignored. I guarantee you, kids repeat the behaviors that they get attention for.

Daily discipline must include responding to the good things kids do - when they act right, cooperate, show patience, are considerate, speak in a soft voice, walk instead of run, don't slam the door, chew with their mouth closed, pick up toys, etc. Send kids the message; you get attention for appropriate behaviors.

When do you give your kids attention? Is it when they misbehave? That's what they'll repeat. Comment on the good they do, and that's what they'll repeat.
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Protein for Tantrums

I keep food in my car's glove-box. This practice started when my daughters were very young. There were many times we'd be out on the road, at a garage sale, waiting in line at the bank, or some other errand and they'd get hungry. As a new mom I quickly learned if my daughters became more cantankerous than usual, they were probably starved.

To ease their hunger, I'd pick some food item from the glove-box for them to munch on. Not only did it keep their little mouths occupied - giving me brief peace - but it soon improved their behavior.

When kids are hungry, a brain chemical triggers aggressive, contrary behavior. Nutrition solves the problem. Today, I know that protein staves off hunger since it metabolizes slower and stays longer in the body.

Want fewer - or less intense - tantrums? Try a little protein. Trail mix, peanuts, soy beans, and low-cal protein bars are easy to store in your car and might give you a more peaceful ride. Now that's smart discipline!
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Don't Ya Just Love 'Em?

I've been a preschool teacher and I'm a mom so I know there are days when it is a challenge to like what you do and the kids you're with! I've also learned that it's my attitude that can make or break my interaction with these impressionable ones. What do you like about living/working with kids? Rate the following aspects from 1 (your fave) to 10 (least liked). Cross out any that don’t apply to your situation.

_____ reminding them of their chores

_____ listening to their stories

_____ solving their problems

_____ seeing new skills or abilities

_____ holiday happenings

_____ picking up after them

_____ meeting their friends

_____ correcting misbehavior

_____ presents they give you

_____ school plays

_____ funny antedotes they provide

Discipline yourself to think on the terrific times you have with kids. It may put a positive spin on your attitude and actions, and get you happily through this day.

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Your hour of empowerment is The Parent's Plate radio show every Tuesday 10 am (EST). All past shows are available on podcast and iTunes so you don't have to miss any information and affirmation.

Reasons for Misbehavior

“Why is he acting like that?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong!”
“What her problem?”

I frequently hear these questions in my work with parents. There are many reasons a child misbehaves. That’s what makes parenting so complex and perplexing.

When your kid acts-up, ask yourself, “What does my child need?” Perhaps her emotional tank is empty. She may simply need your full attention, confidence, support, or unconditional love.

When my daughters were young and we’d have one of “those” days, I found that 15 minutes of uninterrupted, one-on-one time with each, soothed and helped them feel more confident. The result? Better behavior.

Are your kids restless, over-stimulated, tired, hungry, lonely, angry, or living without boundaries? It’s a challenge to figure out why they do what they do. However, I encourage you to look behind the behavior and see if you can solve the “real” problem. That, too, is skillful discipline!

What's your comment?
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